That's usually about the length of my day.
I wake up.
I get ready for the day (which usually includes inordinate amounts of coffee consumption).
I go to classes.
I leave classes.
I have a meeting or two, or depending on the day, I work in the office.
I get lunch.
I settle in for homework.
I do homework.
I try not to fall asleep (most times unsuccessfully).
I do some more homework.
I get dinner.
I go back to doing homework.
And more homework.
Before I know it, it's eleven o'clock (lately, it's been more like midnight, or one o'clock) and I can barely keep my eyes open to do one more assignment, paper, or problem.
I brush my teeth.
I fall in bed.
I sleep.
I repeat.
My life has fallen into this depressing little pattern I'd like to call the mid-semester blues.
Most days I feel like I have just enough to give so I can get by and make it through another day.
Most days I feel a little like I'm just trying to stay afloat.
Most days I feel like I'm just trying to do enough for tomorrow instead of being present in the moment's of today.
Most days my prayer is simply, give me today my daily bread.
Thrilling, right?!
I guess it does get a little more exciting than that some days. Like, last night my roommate and I decided to reward ourselves for our studying by playing a midnight round of Scrabble. It was more stress-inducing that relaxing, but it was well worth it.
Side note: I'm thinking about contracting my current life story out for someone to make a documentary on it. I'm sure it'd make millions. Ya think?
Any ways, back to the story here:
I hear people doing fun things outside my window, but I can't join.
Too busy. Too many things to do.
I'm invited to hang out and talk.
Got an exam and paper due tomorrow! Sorry, we'll have to push it back until I'm not so busy.
I haven't held conversations longer than five minutes with some of my best friends here in quite some time.
I'm unable to go home for my sister's baby shower this weekend because of the million and one things that have to get done.
And all day I keep asking God for just enough time to sit down in His presence to rest and talk.
All day I'm crying out to God for a period of rest, a long period. A season of filling and revelation. A season where I can just spend my day in His presence, physically worship and learning more about Him.
But, right now that's not the season I'm in.
Right now, it's quite the opposite...and I'm thankful that God knows me better than I know myself. He knows what He's doing with me and why He has me here.
He. Knows.
A few weeks ago I was getting in my car to drive home for my sister's (first!) baby shower and I kept thinking to myself, boy, I wish I could just be there already. I've only got a day there and I hate to waste so much time driving. Hurry up, car. Let's get there!
And, God so graciously reminded me in that moment that it's about the process. There will be MORE THAN ENOUGH time at the destination. But, for now I have an entire drive to praise Him, praise Him in the process.
And so I did just that.
I rolled the windows down, cranked up the worship, and praised God all the way up to Michigan.
The drive flew by, powerful and refreshing, and before I knew it I was there.
And God was right (fancy that!) there was more than enough time.
And tonight, as I walked back from my night class at nine, I was thinking about the unfinished (did I say unfinished? I meant, un-started...) reading due tomorrow which has taken a back seat to the the unfinished six page study guide for an exam I have tomorrow, which has taken a back seat to the research paper and lab project that was due today.
And I started to get a little (and by that I mean ALOT) overwhelmed.
But God is. So. GOOD.
As I sat here staring at the blank second page of my study guide, He reminded me to be a daughter that praises Him in the process, especially when it's a process I don't understand or particularly like. He reminded me of some wise words I heard a while ago: whatever you focus on, you empower.
Lord, help me to focus on You rather than the circumstances.
So, tonight, as it approaches 11:00 pm and I settle in for a few hours of studying and trying to keep my eyes open, I'm going to crank up the worship (hope you weren't planning on sleeping, roomie!) and I'm going to praise God in the process.
I'm going to talk to God about how the electron transport chain leads to the production of ATP and how many substrate molecules an enzyme can process in a second. (P.S. if you know the answers to either of those, you're more than welcome to share. :)) ) And then He and I are going to discuss deep philosophical things as I read and write about a book I have yet to actually start...
It's going to be a beautiful process full of worship, hope, and faith...
Yep, we're going to get there, friends....
